The caravan trundles on but it's going nowhere

The next edition of “Practical Caravan” (“All you need for the perfect holiday”) will surely feature Margaret Beckett on the front page.

The former Secretary of State for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs, was incapable of distributing farm subsidies properly but at least, according to “Caravan Magazine” (which may also feature her in its next edition) she has worked hard “to increase access to the countryside for caravanners”.

She is, of course, the country’s most famous caravanner. She will now be leading her caravan around the globe as Britain's Foreign Secretary now Jack Straw’s been moved to the antechamber of political death, Leader of the House of Commons.

Has it come to this - that this once mighty nation sends Margaret Beckett out into the world as its most prestigious representative? Come to think of it, though, it's a post regularly brought into disrepute by its incumbents.

In a decent country, a love of caravans should be no bar to the very greatest offices of state.

Even so, Blair’s latest reshuffle is as bad as all his others. John Prescott keeps the money and the houses but Ruth Kelly does all the work. At least he won't be tempted to twirl her round the office or look up her skirt.

We have another influx of Scots – Scottish Alastair Darling goes to DTI and in come another dull professional politico Douglas Alexander at Transport while to defend our great nation we have yet another tedious Scottish solicitor, this time called Des Brown.

This is deckchairs on the “Titanic”. The time has come for Gordon Brown to do or die.

If he doesn’t have the bottle to force Blair out before the end of the year then it’s all over for the Chancellor and, undoubtedly, all over for his hopes of winning a General Election in his own right.