An idiot’s guide to commentating on the Lions tour if you work for Sky TV. All you need to do is repeat these meaningless and increasingly irritating phrases at irregular intervals throughout each game:
1. The get-go2. Asking questions
3. Set down markers
4. Hard yards
5. Worth the admission fee alone (especially when the stadium is empty)
6. Hard-wired into the Springbok DNA
7. Nobody said it was going to be easy
8. Carry/carries
9. Moving through the gears
10. Grab the game by the scruff of the neck
11. Sensing the scent of blood
12. Half-time oranges
13. It’s not rocket science
14. Asking more questions
15. The next score is absolutely crucial
16. The game was always go to the wire (sic)
17. His go-to man
18. Arm-wrestle
19. Questions being asked (again)
20. Game of two halves
And here’s one comment almost worth the admission fee alone:
‘He’s absolutely hoofed that into the Sheriff of Carmarthen’s honker.’
