This Charming Man

When the Cock of the North gave his first interview to the State broadcaster, what did we learn from the twitchy behaviour of our new dictator?

That he is uncomfortable answering even the least-penetrating questions such as: ‘Will you get on with Donald Trump?’ or ‘Where is the money coming from?’

Laura Kuenssberg kept bowling him juicy half-volleys and all he could do was pat them away to mid-off.

The BBC billed the interview as an ‘exclusive’ but it was hardly a great triumph when every regime strong-man in any banana republic needs to capture the media in order to spread his propaganda and give him a cloak of legitimacy.

In Andy Capp’s case, we got a severe case of parochialism (does anyone really think a regional Mayor has support or legitimacy?), evasiveness and the usual slipperiness from the man who – astonishingly – claims not to have had anything to do with the plot to get rid of Keir Starmer.

Will he meet his own new Chancellor’s demand to increase defence spending? Hmm, he hasn’t really looked into it yet. Will he impose a new Death Tax to pay for social care? Hmm, he’s only been in the job a few days. Will he save money on welfare spending? That’s a question he must consider in due course.

He even had the nerve to claim people did not want a General Election and went on to claim he would stick to Starmer’s election manifesto because we live in a Parliamentary democracy.

He almost said there wouldn’t be an election before 2029 but not quite, which means he’s planning one next year when he has thrown around a few sweeties, the bills haven’t come in and he has ducked the ‘hard decisions’ he claims to be facing.

Having watched this nonsense, it makes you wonder why he wanted to be Prime Minister in the first place other than obvious self-aggrandisement. Either he has plans and daren’t tell us what they are or he genuinely doesn’t know what to do. I’m not sure which is worse.