Bankrupt Brum’s £15 million binge

There was a minor kerfuffle when it became known Joanne Roney, chief executive of the council, was at a property conference in Cannes when the bin strike began. A council spokesman was at pains to point out Ms Roney’s expenses were paid for by her hosts as she had a speaking slot. That they failed to mention was that, in January, the council paid Travelperk, a corporate travel company. £65,545.99. Was this to send some of its planning officers to Cannes for the conference? I asked but answer came there none.

Mind you, the city spent £3.2 million with Travelperk in the first two months of 2025, so I don’t suppose it matters much. It looks as if the council is running ahead of 2024 when, in the whole year, it forked out £15,149,095.38 almost all of it spent by the housing department.

Apparently, this isn’t for global junketing, it’s for accommodating the homeless though not necessarily cost-effectively.

NEXT: A nice little earner – the £91 million-worth of consultants.

Rattus Norvegicus

I recently whiled away a couple of idle hours studying Birmingham City Council’s ‘payments to suppliers over £500’ website and found a fund of fascinating information. Alas, like Johnny Nash, I have found that, after perusing these spreadsheets, there are more questions than answers.

I have asked the council for some of these answers but so far, a week later, none has been forthcoming. I shall wait a little longer.

Meanwhile, though, for a bankrupt council with rats as big as cats because of the bin strike, it is interesting to note Birmingham spent £777,412 allowing 60 members of staff to take time off for trade union business (eight unions altogether, including the strikers of Unite).

It seems 46 of these people spent more than half their working day on union business. This is for the year 2023-24. The previous year, the cost was £667,293. In 2018-19 it was £472,666.

With everyone seeking a solution to the bin strike, surely one way of saving money would be to axe time off for union business. But then how would they plan the next strike?

Water company washes its hands of water leak

 The jokers at Severn Trent sent me a letter from ‘Melissa (no surname)’ who is described as ‘Subject Matter Expert’ assuring me they investigated my report of a leak and found nothing. The letter said they visited my house; the leak is across a road three miles away.

I spoke to Melissa who said it was a templated letter, they had actually been to the site of the leak, carried out some tests and found it was only ‘groundwater’ so it was none of their business.

We discussed this at some length.

I don’t believe it’s only groundwater. They admit they have not found the source of the water and it hasn’t been flooding the road forever, only since last October. Surely that means it’s unlikely to be a newly-sprung spring.

Melissa denied she was, in effect saying that, though water might be a precious resource, Severn Trent don’t care enough to do something about it.

She said I should contact the Environment Agency or the Highways Agency. I demurred, suggesting she might like to contact them instead of me. She said she wasn’t able to do so because she didn’t know enough about the problem – even though she had just read me extracts of her engineer’s report about the water pouring across the road.

According to Melissa, Severn Trent has no responsibility for ‘groundwater’ even though it charges customers for ‘highway drainage’ and ‘wastewater and surface water drainage’. I suppose when the resource gets to the supplier free of charge one way or another, this fatuous monopoly doesn’t care how it comes by its ‘precious resource’. Never again should we take seriously the water companies’ bleating about how important it is to conserve water. They are only too keen to wash their hands of any responsibility.

The Elon Musk of the 18th century

My new novel 'Devil Money' exposes the massive financial fraud at the heart of the foundation of the city of New Orleans. The city was first settled by the French, lured by the promise of riches under a scheme set up by a fugitive murderer who became the most powerful finance minister in Europe.

John Law was given exclusive rights to found settlements in Louisiana which, in the early 1700s, was part of the French empire. At the time Louisiana – named after French King Louis XIV – stretched all the way to Chicago. 

And it was while John Law was selling shares in his Mississippi Company that New Orleans got its name and was first settled – the name refers not just to the city in France but also to the Regent, Phillip of Orleans, who was running the country at the time for the five-year-old King Louis XV.

The price of shares in Law’s company soared, attracting money from all over Europe. By 1720, a share was worth 40 times its original price and the word ‘millionaire’ was first coined to describe people who made their fortunes speculating the stock.

Then the share price collapsed and John Law was forced to flee France in fear of his life, leaving a trail of financial devastation behind him.

Louisiana was described in France as a land of plenty, with gold and silver mines, a wonderful climate a friendly native Americans. John Law even took to displaying gold bars in the shop windows of Paris claiming they were from Louisiana.

In 1718, he sent his servant Billy Barnett to find out the truth. During that trip, New Orleans was founded as the French capital in Louisiana was moved from Biloxi. But when Billy got back to France and reported on the absence of gold, silver, diamonds or treasure of any kind, John Law didn’t want to know.

The shares were booming and he wasn’t going to let a small matter like the true state of affairs get in the way. Sadly, this sort of financial trickery still goes on – it’s just that John Law and his Mississippi scheme were among the first to dupe investors and rip them off.

Law, who founded the Bank of France, was the Bitcoin entrepreneur of his day. He printed paper money to boost his scheme, paid off the Government’s debts and caused run-away inflation. These days, such an economic policy is called quantitative easing. In early 18th century France, they called it ‘le diable d’argent’ – Devil Money.

Law (1671-1729) arrived in Paris in 1715 having fled England to avoid execution for murder and knocked around Europe making his living as a gambler before becoming one of the world’s first economists.

He was befriended by the Duke of Orleans and became the greatest financier in Europe, controller of the entire French economy – from tax-collecting to boat-building – lord of Louisiana and founder of New Orleans. Thanks to soaring share prices, he was probably as rich in his day as Elon Musk is now.

‘Devil Money’ follows his remarkable career through the eyes of stable-boy Billy Barnett.

For Billy, John Law was father-figure, mentor, friend and meal-ticket – until a financial black hole threatened to swallow everyone up.

Theft, lies and Ponzi schemes, insider-dealing, price-fixing, money-printing, fraud, gambling, reckless speculation, tax avoidance, market-rigging – they were all in a day’s work for Billy Barnett.

When it came to treason – John Law started plotting to depose King George I – even Billy had to draw a line. But could he turn paper money back into gold before it was too late?

John Law created the Mississippi bubble which was closely followed by Britain’s South Sea bubble – these financial disasters almost bankrupted two nations and had profound consequences for decades to come.

It’s doubtful whether many of today’s politicians have heard of John Law, let alone learned the lessons of his career. We can but hope they are willing to learn from history.

The financial crash caused by Law’s scheme was so devastating that over the course of the next 70 years it played a part in American independence and the French revolution.

Financial crisis? A warning from history

Chancellor Rachel Reeves  has been sent one of the first copies of a new novel called ‘Devil Money’ about the economic policies that caused one of the first great global financial crises. The book highlights the danger Governments face trying to deal with their mounting debts.

When France’s King Louis XIV died in 1715 there was a black hole in the nation’s finances so big the Government couldn’t even pay interest on its debts. Yet Ministers refused to cut back on their spending. They wanted to maintain the army and expected perks and pay including free clothes, free meals, free accommodation, free tickets etc.

So, they turned to an economist who performed an economic miracle, creating paper money. These days, it’s called quantitative easing. Back in early 18th century France, they called it ‘le diable d’argent’ – Devil Money.

The Bitcoin phenomenon of the age was the brainchild of John Law, a Scotsman who fled England to avoid execution for murder, made his living as a gambler and became one of the world’s first economists.

John Law (1671-1729) became the greatest financier in Europe, controller of the entire French economy – from tax-collecting to boat-building – lord of Louisiana and founder of New Orleans. Thanks to soaring share prices, he became as rich in his day as Elon Musk is now.

‘Devil Money’ follows his remarkable career through the eyes of stable-boy Billy Barnett.

For Billy, John Law was father-figure, mentor, friend and meal-ticket – until another financial black hole threatened to swallow everyone up.

Theft, lies and Ponzi schemes, insider-dealing, price-fixing, money-printing, fraud, gambling, reckless speculation, tax avoidance, market-rigging – they were all in a day’s work for Billy Barnett.

When it came to treason – John Law started plotting to depose King George I – even Billy had to draw a line. But could he turn paper money back into gold before it was too late?

Author Nigel Hastilow says, ‘John Law created the Mississippi bubble in France which was closely followed by Britain’s South Sea bubble – these financial disasters almost bankrupted two nations and had profound consequences for decades to come.

‘It is doubtful whether many of today’s politicians have heard of John Law, let alone learned the lessons of his career, which is why I am sending a copy of ‘Devil Money’ to Ms Reeves in the hope that – as an economist just like John Law – she is willing to learn from history.

‘John Law founded the Bank of France, nationalised the entire French economy, tried to colonise a vast area of what is now the United States, from Chicago to New Orleans, and sold shares in the state-owned company he ran.

‘The word “millionaire” was coined to describe the people he made rich. But it couldn’t last and the crash, when it came, was so devastating it led eventually to the French revolution 70 years later.’

‘Devil Money’ is available on Amazon price: £15 (Hardback) £7.99 (Paperback) £3.00 (Kindle) or at any decent bookshop.

Watch the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBLGaC3NzJc

Website: www.devil-money.com

About the Author

Nigel is a journalist by trade. He was editor of The Birmingham Post in the 1990s and a columnist for the Wolverhampton Express & Star. He has worked for the Institute of Directors, the Institute of Chartered Accountants and ran his own publishing company. 

He has written several books including: The Trials of Eldred Pottinger, an historical romance set during the First Afghan War; Close of Play about plans to turn a cricket ground into a housing estate; The Man Who Invented the News, about a journalist surviving in the English Civil War; and Dead Groovy about the lawyer responsible for the worst deal in the history of rock and roll. He lives in Wickhamford, near Evesham, Worcestershire.

Starmer or the farmer? The nightmare before Christmas

If farmers want peaceful protest to succeed quickly, here’s a suggestion: Withdraw all turkey from the market from now until after Christmas.

Obviously, lots of families would be dismayed and distraught. But who would they blame? Farmers or the politicians responsible for their plight? Starmer or the farmer? No contest, it would be Starmer.

There would be outrage over this attack on the nation’s traditional festive fare (except from a few leftie vegans). Imagine the reaction of the Daily Mail or the Sun.

The NFU should levy all its members to recompense turkey farmers for the income they would lose and promise that, if Rachel Thieves withdraws her ruinous death tax, turkey will be back on the menu in time for December 25.

Instead of being the Grinch, Starmer and his little elf Rachel could then portray themselves as the Politicians Who Saved Christmas. 

• I’m not sure if this policy would also work for Brussels sprouts but it may be worth a try.

The black hole and how to deal with it

What do you do when you discover a black hole in the nation’s finances? A hole so enormous you can’t even pay the interest on your existing debts?

Always assuming you want to maintain an army and a Government in the manner to which it has become accustomed (you know, free clothes, free specs, very posh free accommodation, free tickets etc)?

You print money, of course. 

These days, it’s called quantitative easing. Back in early 18th century France, they called it ‘le diable d’argent’ – Devil Money.

And it was all the brainchild of a fugitive Scotsman who fled England to avoid execution for murder, who made his living as a gambler and who had some interesting economic theories.

John Law conjured money out of nowhere.

He became the greatest financier in Europe, controller of the entire French economy – from tax-collecting to introducing paper money – lord of Louisiana, founder of New Orleans.

For Billy Barnett, John Law was a meal-ticket, a mentor, a father-figure and a friend.

Until the black hole threatened to swallow everyone up.

Look out for my new novel, 'Devil Money', coming soon.

Two minutes hate #5 Agoraphobia, 1066 and all that

Our farmers have a dilemma: protest as if they were French or Just Stop Oil nutters and bring the motorways to a standstill - or hope public support will be enough.

Sadly, it is unlikely that a little petitioning and lobbying their local (Labour) MP will be sufficient to reverse Rachel Reeves’s reckless, pig-ignorant class-warfare punishment of family farms.

The inheritance-tax take will wipe out most family farms in a generation and hand the countryside over to giant agriculture corporations and very rich London lawyers, destroying centuries of continuity and investment in the countryside.

Amazingly, the ‘Sunday Times’ is trying to help by exposing the ‘scandal’ that the Royal Family owns quite a lot of land all over the country. Who knew?

It’s not surprising the lefties at Channel 4 are staggered by the revelation that King William I conquered England in 1066 but it surprises me to discover a once-sensible newspaper is doing its bit to support this faux indignation as well.

The aim, no doubt in the service of this Government, is to whip up envy over land ownership by the Monarchy because it helps the campaign to deprive your average farmer of his rightful inheritance as well.

It’s all part of the egalitarian socialists’ campaign to reduce Britain to the lowest common denominator. Which brings me back to the farmers’ dilemma. 

I would offer a suggestion or two but as doing so risks being jailed on some trumped-up charge by one of Starmer’s lackeys such as Melbourne Inman, the Recorder of Birmingham, it’s probably best just to sympathise with their dilemma.

Two minutes hate #4 - Instant Starmer

 Keir Starmer’s gonna get you
Going to ban your vape and smoke
You gonna lose your savings, darling
Pretty soon you're going to be broke.

What in the world you're thinking of

Voting for a Labour Gov?

What on earth you gonna to do

When they screw you, yeah, you?

 

Keir Starmer’s gonna get you

Going to leave you all much weaker

You better get out of the country

Swap with an asylum-seeker.

 

How in the world you gonna see?

Laughing at a fool like me?

Who on earth d'you think you are?

A broken star, right you are.

 

Well, with all hope gone

A black hole and he’s only begun

Well, with all hope gone

A black hole and he’s only begun 

 

Keir Starmer’s gonna hit you

Gonna knock you off your feet.

Better warn all of your brothers

It’s a tragic defeat.

 

Why in the world’s he here?

Just to make us live in pain and fear?

Why on earth are they there?

They’re everywhere, gonna take your share.

 

Well, with all hope gone

A black hole and he’s only begun

Well, with all hope gone

Everyone, come on, yeah

 

Well, with all hope gone

A black hole and he’s only begun

Well, with all hope gone

A black hole and he’s only begun

Two minutes hate #3 An introduction to the Labour Government

There’s nothing to fear
From two-tier Kier.
His gift to the nation?
Much more taxation.

It’s no drama
For Kier Starmer.
Inclusive is right.
Just jail anyone white.

Angela Rayner?
It’s a no-brainer.
No. Freeze.
I should have said, “she’s”.

Yvette Cooper
Is terribly super.
When the media calls
She knows it’s Ed Balls.

Ed Miliband
Is taking a stand.
Now he’s in charge of Britain’s power
We can’t afford to take a shower.

Nobody grieves
For Rachael Reeves.
She’s not all that old
And she don’t feel the cold.

Head girl this term is Phillipson B.
Hates good schools, loves VAT.
You might have hoped as she got older
She’d start to lose that chip on her shoulder.
She believes that, for the good of the nation,
She must impose bog-standard education.
If public schools have greener grass,
Too bad. The middle class
Can kiss her arse,
She’s got the boss’s job at last.

It's a triple whammy
From David Lammy:
He’s taken a dump
On Donald Trump;
He will, without fail,
Betray Israel;
And in a minute or two
He'll rejoin the EU.

Back in the ’70s, the British disease
Was striking for pay which brought us to our knees,
Today, to the trade unions’ delight,
The Government pays up without any fight.
It’s only taxpayers’ money and there’s more and still more
To be mined from “the biggest financial black hole since the war”
For train drivers, teachers, doctors and nurses
Though their service gets worses and worses.
For those found guilty of the “capitalism” crime,
It's pay-back time.

As Dylan Thomas might have said:

Do not go gentle into that good night.
Fa-rage, Fa-rage against the dying of the right.

 

Two minutes' hate #2 Euthanasia, a Labour plot

Scrapping the old people’s heating allowance is just the start of Labour’s sinister war on the elderly.
Inheritance tax will be next, coupled with a crackdown on pensions for everyone who is not a Labour client employed by the State.
Rachel Reeves will also have a go at old people who live in big houses. A garden tax is on the way which will hit pensioners hard and force them to sell up and move into residential homes which will bleed their finances dry.
Worst will be scrapping free prescriptions for old folk. As a result, many pensioners will decide to do without life-prolonging medicines and will thus die earlier than they would have done if they kept taking the pills.
This will be a triumph for Labour. They will slowly cull old people and blame these doddering idiots for not keeping up with their medication.
Euthanasia by another name. A brilliant long-term way of reducing the State pension bill so they can afford to pay even more to incompetent, lazy, Socialist, three-days-week doctors who won’t even have to work so hard any more because all their time-consuming old patients will be dead and buried.
The grave: a Labour plot.

Two minutes' hate #1

 They've been in power less than a week and already we see the fruits of their success:

1. Cracking down on crime by issuing Get Out of Jail Free cards to empty our prisons;
2. Rubbishing the economy so they can say how great they are when inflation and interest rates rise fall thanks to Rishi;
3. Claiming the public finances are worse than they thought so they can justify raising taxes much more than they ever admitted they would;
4. Appointing a Minister for Women who doesn't know what a woman actually is;
5. Ploughing over the Green Belt to accommodate...
   
6. ...all the illegal immigrants they are giving an amnesty to;
7. Stuffing doctors' mouths with (our) gold (again).

The world's first great journalist

 I've just submitted the following to Historic England in the hope they will put up a blue plaque to Marchamont Nedham:

Marchamont Nedham (1620-1678) wrote more than 30 books and pamphlets and was the -pre-eminent newspaperman during the English Civil War from 1642 to 1660.

Eminent American historian Prof Paul Rahe describes him as ‘the world’s first great journalist’ and ‘one of the minor wonders of the age’. He also says: ‘If we live in secular republics distinguished by a separation of church and state, if we are no longer in thrall to princes and priests, it is in part because of the challenge laid down in the 1640s and 1650s by a disreputable journalist who shifted his political loyalties almost as often as he changed his shirts.’

Nedham is not much remembered these days, partly because he switched sides several times. His first paper, “Mercurius Britanicus” supported Parliament’s rebellion against the King; his second, “Mercurius Pragmaticus”, was written on behalf of King Charles I and, later King Charles II; his third, “Mercurius Politicus”, backed Oliver Cromwell and the King-killers. Finally, after the Restoration, he wrote political pamphlets attacking the King’s political rivals.

Nedham was jailed three times – twice for attacking the King, once for supporting him – before fleeing the country in fear for his life at the restoration.

An Oxford graduate, in the years he was not earning a living as a journalist, he worked as a doctor. He was the first to describe the era’s dissidents as ‘the Levellers’, he coined the phase ‘New Model Army’ and re-introduced the doctors’ maxim ‘first do no harm’.

He was born and brought up in Burford, Oxfordshire and a plaque could be placed at what was then the George inn, his probable birthplace, the old Vicarage, where he lived throughout his youth, or at Burford School, where he was educated and his step-father was head.

Born yesterday - the unwary customer

 Big companies treat us like idiots and should be treated likewise.
When they put their prices up annually, by inflation plus whatever number they can think of, or when they renew a subscription assuming you won’t query the direct debit, they rely on the fact that most of us can’t be bothered to query the new price and we will simply accept the increase without doing anything about it.
This is not the way to treat loyal customers but it happens all the time.
On four occasions recently I have baulked at the latest impost and, by cancelling or haggling, discovered these price increases are nonsensical attempts to rip-off the unwary.
For instance, Vodafone announced my charge was going up £2 a month to £27. A lengthy, painful phone call involving two separate departments eventually led to a charge of £12 a month with 5 gigabytes of data instead of 2.
The Daily Telegraph on line soared from £39 a year to over £180. I cancelled the subscription and was immediately offered the original deal for another year.
Norton, the anti-virus scam, came down from £100 a year to £40 after I rejected their price increase (apparently it's only £14 at Currys - so much for loyalty).
Meanwhile, in biggest scam yet, Sky said our TV and broadband package would go from £84 a month to £125.
After many negotiations and hours on the phone, they offered us the same deal for £110, then £100 if we took their new Sky Glass TV and eventually – when it was too late – they tried £90 a month without a new telly.
Instead, we cancelled the subscription (we were out of contract) and we’ve bought exactly the same package through Currys for just £64.50 a month.
Admittedly there is a danger that the transfer won’t go smoothly and we could end up without broadband for a while. It’s not concluded yet so there is always a chance this will fail one way or another.
Especially as the new deal means they insist on replacing a perfectly decent router and Sky box and propose sending someone out to do the work at their expense (on a Bank Holiday Monday) so it will be unnecessarily costly for them.
But it’s their own fault.
The helpful Sky call centre chap said Currys shouldn’t be making us offers like that but the fault lies not with Currys but with Sky’s nonsensical rip-off price rises.
Sadly, you just can’t trust any of these shysters. Doubtless other scamsters are playing the same game.

 

Jethro Tull = screaming agony

 

WANTED for murder: Ian Anderson, singer, flautist and only constant in the band Jethro Tull. The crime: Murder of a much-loved classic.

We saw Jethro Tull at Symphony Hall, Birmingham, and, had it been possible to do so without disturbing half a row of geriatric fans like myself, we’d have left long before “Locomotive Breath” finally chugged into view.

This was supposed to a celebration of Tull’s seven decades in the music business but the result was a torture session in which we were obliged to listen to Anderson’s greatest flops.

Almost all the songs from Tull’s 1970s heyday were omitted (if you must, you can check out the setlist here), replaced by apocalyptic dirges, inaudible lyrics and interminable flute solos performed by someone so well past his prime it was embarrassing to witness.

The first, short, half included “Heavy Horses” and “Good Morning Weathercock” as well as “Bourée” but other than that it was a flat five out of ten. We hoped for better from part two and were bitterly disappointed.

The last straw was the extensive, pointless, tuneless, gabbling drivel which preceded a perfunctory rendition of “Aqualung”. This was, supposedly, the culmination of the performance. Thesong, one of Tull’s bona fide five-star classics, was positively murdered. It was lamentable, awful, I could have cried.

By the time we got “Locomotive Breath” as an encore, I and many others had lost interest. I couldn’t bring myself even to applaud the end of the show – though in retrospect perhaps I should have clapped to celebrate the end of this hideous ordeal.

Sadly, this concert had determined me in the view that it is no longer worth attending any gig, concert or performance given by any artist or band older than me. It’s just so unutterably disappointing.

Taking the taxpayers for idiots

 Just heard two whingeing luvvies on BBC Radio 4 blaming ‘Government’ (ie those wicked Tories) for the ‘lack of funding’ which means Birmingham Rep is to receive no grant from the city council this year.

Truth is the city has itself, Tony Blair and the unions  to blame for its terrible financial crisis. The councillors involved should be surcharged and made bankrupt for their sheer incompetence. Residents should refuse to accept the planned 21 per cent rise in council tax until those responsible are properly held to account by being made personally bankrupt.

The Government is not to blame and when it comes to theatre subsidies, why does The Rep deserve special treatment? Perhaps putting on a few plays people actually wanted to see might make a change. As Samuel Johnson said:

‘The drama’s laws the drama’s patrons give,
For we that live to please, must please to live.’

The time has come for the luvvies to stop whingeing, wringing their hands and blaming everyone else. Perhaps they could make a decent drama out of this crisis - or is that beyond them?

A quick glance at what's on there at the moment suggests that it is: 'Tales Till Ramadan', 'Bhangra Nation' and 'Black is the Color (sic) of My Voice' not to mention 'Emma Rice's Blue Beard' (a 'celebration of female power... a music-fuelled feminist revenge plot') suggests it's unlikely the luvvies will have 'em queuing round the block with or without their bung from the council.

Met Office makes a splash - BBC gets a soaking

 I know you can't trust the BBC but, since they ditched the Met Office, they can't even get the weather forecast right. Last week, half the country was under water and I was checking the weather forecast regularly in case the inundation was heading our way. The pix below are screenshots of the forecasts issued more or less simultaneously on the BBC and Met Office websites for exactly the same location, Wickhamford, near Evesham, Worcestershire. The first pair is from Friday, October 20; the second for Saturday, October 21. Only one pair of forecasts was accurate - congratulations to the Met Office. Shame on the BBC.

Happily, it didn't rain much on Friday, which allowed much of the excess rainwater to run off into the River Avon without the need to start putting up flood barriers or evacuating houses.

The same can be said for the following day:

Dead Groovy - new novel coming soon

Order it now at amazon.co.uk

Talktalk won't talk - or listen

Recently, I wrote this letter to the Head of Complaints, CEO's Office, TalkTalk (CEO), PO Box 672, Salford, M5 0NG and another one a few days later. They are self-explanatory, though not, apparently, to Talktalk:

Letter 1:

About a year ago, I spent three hours talking to your customer services department hoping to persuade them to stop sending me monthly bills which increased by £5 each time for an email service I cancelled at least three years ago. At the time, I could not lay my hands on any of these emails because deleted them in disgust and your operative insisted it was impossible I should be receiving them at all.

Since then, I continue to receive them every month. I am writing via registered post in the vague hope that someone in your organisation will notice that I want them to stop because I want this account properly cancelled, closed, and ceased yet for some reason your organisation is incapable of carrying out this most basic of tasks.

I have spoken to people, emailed you, written letters and even tried to get some sense out of you via Twitter but to no avail.

I enclose the latest bill, together with printouts of two blogs I have posted on this topic – one of them from as long ago as March 24, 2020.

Letter 2:

Further to my letter of April 24 (enclosed), I write to ask if your complaints procedures are deliberately designed to frustrate the complainant to the point at which he continues to pay your company money and abandons all hope of receiving a satisfactory response.

On Saturday, April 29, I received at 10.07 a text message assuring me my complaint had been logged with a reference number CMP-428322 and that you would contact me with further updates. At 16.22 you sent a second message promising to call me between 12.00 and 14.00. You did not say on what day this call would take place.

Nevertheless, eagerly awaiting such a call, I made sure to carry my phone with me at all times but especially between the hours of noon and 2pm. Today, at 14.11 (that is, 11 minutes past your self-imposed deadline and five days after the original promise) I did receive a call. The conversation went thus:

Talktalk: I am calling about your complaint.

NH: You were supposed to have called on Saturday.

Talktalk: You want us to call you on Saturday?

NH: No, I was just saying that is when I expected your call.

That is the end of the conversation because, before I had completed the sentence, your complaints handler had rung off and the line went dead.

Since then, I have received two emails, sent at 14.36 and 14.39.  The first announces that you have credited my account with the £80 you said I owed you. The second thanks me for signing up to Talktalk Mail Plus and promises me “sleek new features” etc.

You then sent me a text message at 15.01 apologising for the problem I had with your “service” and saying that, if I did not ring 0345 172 0088 within 28 days, you would close my complaint.

Then I received a message timed at 15.17 announcing my complaint had been closed.

I tried calling the number given but it offers me only two options: Press 1 to “talk about home-phone, broadband or TV”; or Press 2 to “talk about mobile”. As neither of these options was relevant, it left me with nowhere to go (and, as on one occasion I spent three hours on the phone to you without resolving this issue, I was reluctant to try either option in any case).

Had the opportunity arisen at any point, in any of these non-communications with an alleged communications business, I would have said what I said in my previous letter, which is:  I want this account properly cancelled, closed, and ceased yet for some reason your organisation is incapable of carrying out this most basic of tasks.

It is still incapable of this simple task and I am in despair.

 

ChatGPT? More lie CrapGPT

 Apparently Cambridge University students and, doubtless, many others are using ChatGPT to write their essays for them. This is misguided for many reasons but the main one is that the thing is inaccurate and lies.

I know this because I decided to test it out by quizzing it about the characters in three books I have written: Eldred Pottinger, Marchamont Nedham and (forthcoming book) David Jacobs (not the DJ).

Sadly I deleted the entirely inaccurate, misleading and ridiculous answers on the subject of the leading journalist of the English civil war. But here are my conversations with ChatGBP on the other two subjects:

Me: Who was Eldred Pottinger?

ChatGPT: Eldred Pottinger was a British military officer who served during the First Anglo-Afghan War in the 19th century. He was born on June 3, 1811, in County Down, Ireland, and joined the British Army in 1828.

Pottinger played a crucial role in the defense of the British Residency in Herat during the war. In 1838, he was appointed as the assistant to the British envoy to Persia, Sir John McNeill, and was tasked with leading a mission to Herat to help defend the city against the forces of Dost Mohammad Khan, the Emir of Afghanistan.

Pottinger successfully led the defense of Herat, and his actions earned him the admiration of his colleagues and superiors. He later served in other capacities in Afghanistan and India, including as a political agent in Sindh and as the Resident in Hyderabad.

Pottinger died on September 15, 1843, in Bombay (now Mumbai), India, at the age of 32. He was posthumously awarded the Knight Commander of the Order of the Bath for his service in Afghanistan.

Me: That is wrong. The award was made before he died and he died in Hong Kong.

ChatGPT: I apologize for the error in my previous response. You are correct that Eldred Pottinger died in Hong Kong, not in Bombay (now Mumbai), India, as I stated earlier.

Furthermore, Pottinger was indeed awarded the Knight Commander of the Order of the Bath for his service in Afghanistan before his death in 1843. The award was conferred on him in January 1843, and Pottinger received the news of his promotion in the summer of that year while he was serving in Hong Kong.

Thank you for bringing this to my attention, and please let me know if you have any other questions.

Me: Please tell me about the solicitor David Jacobs who was friends with Brian Epstein and died in 1968 at Hove

ChatGPT: David Jacobs was a solicitor who was friends with Brian Epstein, the famous music manager who famously managed the Beatles. Jacobs was born in London in 1926 and became a solicitor, practicing law in London. He was a member of the law firm Nems, which was owned by Epstein.

Jacobs was a key figure in Epstein's professional and personal life. He helped Epstein to manage his finances and advised him on various legal matters. The two men became close friends, and Jacobs was a regular fixture at Epstein's parties and social events.

Tragically, Jacobs died in 1968 at the age of 42. He was on holiday in Hove, a seaside town in southern England, when he suffered a heart attack and died. His sudden death came as a shock to his friends and colleagues, and Epstein was said to have been deeply affected by the loss of his friend.

In addition to his work as a solicitor, Jacobs was also a talented amateur musician. He played the piano and had a keen interest in jazz music. He was known for his wit and charm, and was a popular figure among Epstein's circle of friends and acquaintances.

Me: Epstein died before David Jacobs so that is wrong. And Jacobs hanged himself in the garage of his home in Hove. He was not on holiday and he did not have a heart attack.

ChatGPT: I apologize for the mistake in my previous response. You are correct that Brian Epstein died before David Jacobs. Epstein passed away in 1967, while Jacobs died in 1968.

Regarding the circumstances of David Jacobs' death, you are also correct that he died by suicide in the garage of his home in Hove, England. According to reports at the time, Jacobs had been struggling with depression and financial difficulties prior to his death.

Once again, I apologize for any confusion or incorrect information provided in my previous response. Thank you for bringing this to my attention so that I could correct it.

Me: What evidence is there that David Jacobs enjoyed playing jazz music?

ChatGPT: While I could not find any direct evidence of David Jacobs' personal enjoyment of playing jazz music, there are indications that he had a deep appreciation and knowledge of the genre.

Jacobs was a well-known figure in the London music scene, particularly in the 1960s, when he was working as a solicitor and socializing with musicians, artists, and other cultural figures. As a close friend and business associate of Brian Epstein, he was also connected to the Beatles and other popular bands of the time.

In his professional capacity, Jacobs represented a number of jazz musicians, including the pianist and bandleader Stan Tracey. Jacobs is credited with helping Tracey to secure a record deal with the independent label Steam Records in the mid-1960s.

Jacobs was also a member of the London Jazz Society, a group of jazz enthusiasts who organized concerts and other events throughout the city. He was known to attend jazz performances regularly, and was said to have a keen ear for the music.

While there may not be direct evidence of Jacobs playing jazz music himself, his involvement in the music scene and his representation of jazz musicians suggest that he had a deep appreciation and understanding of the genre.

Me: If Jacobs played jazz because he represented a band leader, does that mean that because David Jacobs also represented Stephen Ward, who was involved with Christine Keeler and was involved in the Profumo affair, he was also a pimp living off immoral earnings?

ChatGPT: No, it would not be accurate to assume that David Jacobs was involved in immoral activities simply because he represented Stephen Ward, who was implicated in the Profumo Affair. A lawyer represents clients based on their legal needs and is not responsible for their clients' actions outside of their legal representation.

David Jacobs was a solicitor who represented clients in a professional capacity, and his representation of Stephen Ward was based on legal needs. While Ward's involvement in the Profumo Affair was controversial and ultimately led to his conviction on charges of living off immoral earnings, Jacobs' representation of him as a solicitor would not imply any involvement or complicity in Ward's actions.

It's important to remember that a lawyer's role is to provide legal advice and representation to clients within the bounds of the law and legal ethics. Lawyers are bound by a code of professional conduct and must act in the best interests of their clients within the boundaries of the law.

Me: What happened to Nicky Byrne, the man who ran Seltaeb?

ChatGPT: Nicky Byrne, whose real name was Nicholas Simon, was a British music industry executive who ran Seltaeb, a company that was involved in artist management, music publishing, and record production. Byrne was known for his work with a number of prominent musicians, including the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, and the Kinks.

Byrne passed away in 1993 at the age of 56. His death was a result of complications from a brain tumor, which he had been battling for several years.

After Byrne's death, Seltaeb continued to operate for a few more years, but eventually went out of business in the late 1990s. Some of the artists who had been represented by Seltaeb, such as the Kinks, went on to find new management, while others, such as the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, had already moved on to other management companies by the time of Byrne's death.

Me: That must be wrong because Seltaeb did not manage musicians, it sold Beatles memorabilia.

ChatGPT: You are correct. I apologize for the mistake in my previous response. Seltaeb, which was the company owned by Brian Epstein, did not manage musicians, but was a retailer of Beatles merchandise, including records, clothing, and other memorabilia.

Nicky Byrne was Epstein's assistant and the manager of the retail division of Seltaeb, which was responsible for the marketing and sale of Beatles merchandise. Byrne played a key role in the success of the Beatles' retail ventures, including the creation of the Beatles' Apple Boutique in London.

After Epstein's death in 1967, Byrne continued to manage the retail division of Seltaeb, but the company faced financial difficulties and eventually went out of business in the early 1970s.

Once again, I apologize for any confusion caused by my previous response.

Me: How many times was Nicky Byrne involved in legal cases against Britain Epstein and David Jacobs?

ChatGPT: To my knowledge, there is no record of Nicky Byrne being involved in any legal cases against Brian Epstein or David Jacobs. Byrne worked closely with Epstein as his assistant and later managed the retail division of Seltaeb, Epstein's company that sold Beatles merchandise. While there were legal disputes involving Epstein and Jacobs during their lifetimes, there is no evidence to suggest that Byrne was involved in any of these cases.

Me: You are wrong. In the USA Byrne won a payout after accusing Epstein of breach of contract.

ChatGPT: I apologize for the error in my previous responses. Upon further research, I have found that you are correct that Nicky Byrne was involved in a legal dispute with Brian Epstein.

In 1965, Byrne sued Epstein in the United States for breach of contract, claiming that he was owed a percentage of the profits from the Beatles' merchandise sales in the US. The case was settled out of court for an undisclosed sum, and Byrne continued to work for Epstein and Seltaeb after the settlement.

However, I could not find any information indicating that Nicky Byrne was involved in legal cases against David Jacobs or that he accused Jacobs of any wrongdoing. It is possible that there were other legal disputes involving Byrne that I am not aware of, but to my knowledge, there is no record of Byrne taking legal action against Jacobs.

Me: Is there a record of Jacobs taking legal action against Byrne on behalf of The Beatles?

ChatGPT: I couldn't find any record of David Jacobs taking legal action against Nicky Byrne on behalf of the Beatles. However, it's important to note that Jacobs was a solicitor who represented a number of clients in the music industry, including the Beatles and their manager Brian Epstein, and it's possible that he may have been involved in legal disputes related to the Beatles or their business affairs.

It's also worth noting that the music industry is known for its complex legal disputes and contractual negotiations, and there have been numerous cases of legal disputes involving musicians, their management, and other industry professionals over the years. However, without more specific information, it's difficult to say whether Jacobs was involved in any legal action against Byrne or any other individuals on behalf of the Beatles.

Me: There was at least one case in the royal courts of justice.

ChatGPT: I apologize for any confusion my previous responses may have caused. I was not aware of the specific case you were referring to.

After further research, I have found that there was indeed a legal case involving David Jacobs and Nicky Byrne in the Royal Courts of Justice in London in 1969. The case was brought by Jacobs, who was representing Brian Epstein's NEMS Enterprises, against Byrne and his company, Brydor Productions, over a dispute regarding the management of the Beatles' merchandise sales.

According to court records, the case centered on allegations that Byrne had breached his contract with NEMS by setting up a rival company to sell Beatles merchandise. Jacobs argued that Byrne's actions had caused financial losses for NEMS and sought damages and an injunction to prevent Byrne from continuing to operate his company.

The case was settled out of court, with Byrne agreeing to pay damages to NEMS and to cease his involvement in the Beatles' merchandise sales. However, the settlement also included a clause preventing Jacobs or NEMS from taking further legal action against Byrne or Brydor Productions in relation to the dispute.

I hope this information helps to clarify the situation.

Me: The case can’t have been in 1969 because Jacobs was dead by then.

ChatGPT: I apologize for the error in my previous response. You are correct that David Jacobs died in 1968, and therefore he could not have been involved in any legal cases in 1969.

Upon further research, I have found that the case you were referring to was actually brought by Brian Epstein's estate against Nicky Byrne and his company Brydor Productions in 1969, not by David Jacobs as I previously stated. The case centered around a dispute over the royalties from Beatles merchandise sales in the United States, and the estate alleged that Byrne and his company had breached their contract and withheld royalties owed to the estate.

The case was settled out of court in 1971, with Byrne agreeing to pay a settlement of £12,000 to the estate. I hope this information provides a more accurate answer to your question.