It is apparent that the Triple Cock of the North is not entirely acquainted with the truth but if you stumble across a website called The Burnham Programme, you will discover his looniness in all its naïve ridiculousness.
It reads like a brain dump – everything he hopes and thinks in one long screed – so let’s consider just one small aspect of this astonishing manifesto: the disaster that is HS2.
Our Glorious Leader promises an Infrastructure Emergency Act to extend the line to Manchester and Leeds. He claims an anytime return from Wigan to Euston will fall in price from £364 today to £300 when the trains are nationalised and a mere £80 when HS2 is built.
And he’s talking about extending HS2 to Glasgow, Edinburgh and – believe it or not – Belfast via a tunnel under the Irish Sea, with a halt at the Isle of Man.
This is all to be funded by the bond market, but off the books. He also confesses: ‘Total additional borrowing above baseline over 12 years: approximately £108 billion.’
Reading this nonsense, you wonder if it was all a dream and then he woke up, became Prime Minister and discovered he was not in fairyland after all. Unless it’s a spoof website, I suppose.
https://theburnhamprogramme.co.uk/
Tuesday, October 13, 2026
Friday, October 09, 2026
A tragical history tour
Been trying to write a play. Made this vid about it:
If you're interested, it's partly based on my book 'Dead Groovy' avaiable at all good bookshops and from Amazon.
If you're interested, it's partly based on my book 'Dead Groovy' avaiable at all good bookshops and from Amazon.
Thursday, October 08, 2026
And answer came there none
Just received a reply from the West Midlands Combined Authority to a couple of inquiries I made recently. You will see it is not much of an answer:
Thank you for submitting the following Freedom of Information Request on 14
September 2026.
Information requested:
"Why are no accounts available after May?".
Clarification received on 16 September 2026:
“You know very well I am referring to the monthly expenditure over £500 and you also know you have uploaded two months since I sent in this inquiry as well as uploading the out of date notification that the accounts are open for inspection (a notification that’s now expired).
You will also see I have submitted another inquiry about why the last chief executive received a £150,000 pay-off when she supposedly resigned of her own accord. I look forward to your response.'”
Our Response:
The publication did not take place when originally intended. This has now been corrected and the information is available. We apologise for the delay and any inconvenience this may have caused. Accounts from May are now available and can be found here: https://www.wmca.org.uk/what-we-do/budget-spending.
If you are dissatisfied with the handling of your request, you may request an internal review by writing to:
We hope that the above information addresses your request, however if you are dissatisfied with the way in which we have handled your request, you have the right to ask us to review it. You should make your request for a review within 40 working days of receipt of this letter to Information.officer@wmca.org.uk We will provide our review within 20 working days of receipt.
If, following our review, you remain dissatisfied with the handling of your request or our response, you have the right to lodge a complaint with the Information Commissioner's Office (ICO), the UK's independent authority for upholding information rights.
Information Commissioner's Office, Wycliffe House, Water Lane, Wilmslow, Cheshire, SK9 5AF.
Information requested:
"Why are no accounts available after May?".
Clarification received on 16 September 2026:
“You know very well I am referring to the monthly expenditure over £500 and you also know you have uploaded two months since I sent in this inquiry as well as uploading the out of date notification that the accounts are open for inspection (a notification that’s now expired).
You will also see I have submitted another inquiry about why the last chief executive received a £150,000 pay-off when she supposedly resigned of her own accord. I look forward to your response.'”
Our Response:
The publication did not take place when originally intended. This has now been corrected and the information is available. We apologise for the delay and any inconvenience this may have caused. Accounts from May are now available and can be found here: https://www.wmca.org.uk/what-we-do/budget-spending.
If you are dissatisfied with the handling of your request, you may request an internal review by writing to:
We hope that the above information addresses your request, however if you are dissatisfied with the way in which we have handled your request, you have the right to ask us to review it. You should make your request for a review within 40 working days of receipt of this letter to Information.officer@wmca.org.uk We will provide our review within 20 working days of receipt.
If, following our review, you remain dissatisfied with the handling of your request or our response, you have the right to lodge a complaint with the Information Commissioner's Office (ICO), the UK's independent authority for upholding information rights.
Information Commissioner's Office, Wycliffe House, Water Lane, Wilmslow, Cheshire, SK9 5AF.
Monday, September 28, 2026
Gibberish marching to a different drum
The former chief executive of the West Midlands Combined Authority, Laura Shoaf, resigned in June last year – with a £155,000 pay-off.
What with the money she earned working for Mayor Richard Parker and the ‘compensation for loss of office’, Ms Shoaf was paid £283,000 in the 2025-6 financial year, according to the WMCA annual report and accounts.
She was replaced by Ed Cox, who is presumably responsible for the guff in the report which, under the heading Executive Directors (no apostrophe) Office, promises:
• ‘Work and design sprints… to embed the organisation’s target operating model and relationships between strategy, corporate services and delivery functions.’
• ‘To embed a values driven culture…. A detailed action plan, structured around nine core objectives and associated subobjectives, has been developed.’
• ‘Progress will be monitored through the ongoing People & Culture Senior Leadership Team and newly established Corporate Services Group. Supported by a newly published Behaviours Framework which embeds a culture first approach within the Integrated Performance Management (IPM) Framework.‘
• ‘Our newly established leadership architecture will further support and embed the expected behaviours at every level across the organisation.’
• ‘A structured communications drumbeat is in place to ensure staff receive timely, clear, and accessible updates.’
• ‘An Organisation Design Panel has been established to provide a single, strategic lens across the organisation, offering fairness, clarity and consistency for organisation design and structural decisions.’
In promising us a ‘trailblazing authority’, Mr Cox uses the word ‘embed’ 39 times in his report so something might stick.
What with the money she earned working for Mayor Richard Parker and the ‘compensation for loss of office’, Ms Shoaf was paid £283,000 in the 2025-6 financial year, according to the WMCA annual report and accounts.
She was replaced by Ed Cox, who is presumably responsible for the guff in the report which, under the heading Executive Directors (no apostrophe) Office, promises:
• ‘Work and design sprints… to embed the organisation’s target operating model and relationships between strategy, corporate services and delivery functions.’
• ‘To embed a values driven culture…. A detailed action plan, structured around nine core objectives and associated subobjectives, has been developed.’
• ‘Progress will be monitored through the ongoing People & Culture Senior Leadership Team and newly established Corporate Services Group. Supported by a newly published Behaviours Framework which embeds a culture first approach within the Integrated Performance Management (IPM) Framework.‘
• ‘Our newly established leadership architecture will further support and embed the expected behaviours at every level across the organisation.’
• ‘A structured communications drumbeat is in place to ensure staff receive timely, clear, and accessible updates.’
• ‘An Organisation Design Panel has been established to provide a single, strategic lens across the organisation, offering fairness, clarity and consistency for organisation design and structural decisions.’
In promising us a ‘trailblazing authority’, Mr Cox uses the word ‘embed’ 39 times in his report so something might stick.
Friday, September 25, 2026
SONOS and the sound of silence
TWo years ago, a software update perpetrated on their customers by Sonos, the sellers of speakers, was a complete disaster.
Now they have imposed another update and, predictably, it is another disaster.
After six interminable phone calls and lengthy attempts to make my music library play through my Sonos speakers (it plays through my cheap IKEA a speaker) they finally admitted the update meant Sonos could no longer play .wav files through Sonos speakers and I’d have to wait for the update to the update.
THey had no idea how long it would take.
Almost as frustrating as the sound of silence is the fact that Sonos don't simply admit their latest disaster up front and save callers like me from hours on the phone to their call centres while they go through the many other possible reasons for this failure without once admitting the whole thing is the fault of Sonos and you just have to wait while they try to untangle themselves.
Beause I paid a reasonable amount of money for a Sonos system, I'm stuck with it. When it works, it's quite good. But my advice to anyone thinking of getting Sonos speakers is simple: Don't. THey are more trouble than they're worth.
Now they have imposed another update and, predictably, it is another disaster.
After six interminable phone calls and lengthy attempts to make my music library play through my Sonos speakers (it plays through my cheap IKEA a speaker) they finally admitted the update meant Sonos could no longer play .wav files through Sonos speakers and I’d have to wait for the update to the update.
THey had no idea how long it would take.
Almost as frustrating as the sound of silence is the fact that Sonos don't simply admit their latest disaster up front and save callers like me from hours on the phone to their call centres while they go through the many other possible reasons for this failure without once admitting the whole thing is the fault of Sonos and you just have to wait while they try to untangle themselves.
Beause I paid a reasonable amount of money for a Sonos system, I'm stuck with it. When it works, it's quite good. But my advice to anyone thinking of getting Sonos speakers is simple: Don't. THey are more trouble than they're worth.
Sunday, September 20, 2026
And the gravy-train keeps on rolling
It would be wrong to say West Midlands Mayor Richard Parker doesn’t know what he’s doing but that may be because he spent £1.1 million asking other people – in June alone.
According to that month’s West Midlands Combined Authority accounts, he and his cohorts spent £310,000 on ‘consultants’, £553,000 on ‘external advice’, £38,000 on ‘land advice’ and £191,000 on ‘legal advice’.
And it would be wrong to say nobody wants to work for him, though his dependence on temporary staff cost the taxpayer £858,000 – just in June.
Still, according to the unaudited accounts for 2025-26, he is looking after his ‘Director of Mayoral Strategy’ who, at £130,000 a year, earns £30,000 more than the boss. The mayor also has a Chief of Staff who gets a mere £91,000 while the Deputy Mayor’s on a trifling £10,000 (though as leader of Wolverhampton Council, it's reasonable to assume Coun Stephen Simkins is not on the breadline).
Luckily for everyone on the gravy-train, there’s more to come. The WMCA report and accounts notes:
‘There is a need to reconvene the Independent Remuneration Panel to refresh existing allowances and to consider new allowances that may come out of the English Devolution and Community Empowerment Bill such as allowances for Leaders and the appointment of Mayoral Commissioners.’
Mind you, it’s not necessary to work for Mayor Parker to coin it in. There have been 16 ‘exit packages’ in 2026 costing a total of £631,000 compared with 12 in 2025 costing a mere £165,000. Nice work if you don’t have to do it…
• Meanwhile the Cock of the North is flogging ‘Manchesterism’ baseball caps for £25 and ‘Good Growth in Every Postcode’ bags for £20 to anyone idiotic enough to want one.
And it would be wrong to say nobody wants to work for him, though his dependence on temporary staff cost the taxpayer £858,000 – just in June.
Still, according to the unaudited accounts for 2025-26, he is looking after his ‘Director of Mayoral Strategy’ who, at £130,000 a year, earns £30,000 more than the boss. The mayor also has a Chief of Staff who gets a mere £91,000 while the Deputy Mayor’s on a trifling £10,000 (though as leader of Wolverhampton Council, it's reasonable to assume Coun Stephen Simkins is not on the breadline).
Luckily for everyone on the gravy-train, there’s more to come. The WMCA report and accounts notes:
‘There is a need to reconvene the Independent Remuneration Panel to refresh existing allowances and to consider new allowances that may come out of the English Devolution and Community Empowerment Bill such as allowances for Leaders and the appointment of Mayoral Commissioners.’
Mind you, it’s not necessary to work for Mayor Parker to coin it in. There have been 16 ‘exit packages’ in 2026 costing a total of £631,000 compared with 12 in 2025 costing a mere £165,000. Nice work if you don’t have to do it…
• Meanwhile the Cock of the North is flogging ‘Manchesterism’ baseball caps for £25 and ‘Good Growth in Every Postcode’ bags for £20 to anyone idiotic enough to want one.
Thursday, September 17, 2026
Why tax more when you can't spend what you've got?
As the Cock of the North plans to throw more millions at his Mayors, what’s Richard Parker doing in the West Midlands?
Enjoying higher business rate income for a start. This year, his fiefdom expects to scoop up £15 million from hard-pressed businesses. This will increase by 10 per cent every year, reaching £19.5 million in 2028, according to the West Midlands Combined Authority’s unaudited report and accounts for last year.
Amid the usual drivel and guff, this tedious document does disclose that Mr Parker is not very good at his job, which is supposed to be spending our money.
His capital budget for building things like Midland Metro tram lines was £653 million but he only managed to get rid of £463 million, a £190 million or 29 per cent shortfall.
He also underspent on his revenue budget. It was £556 million but he only managed to spend £532 million
. All of which makes you wonder why he needs to treat businesses as a cash cow. Yet he’s still pleading poverty. The report claims Mayor Parker faces a £33 million shortfall next year and £29 million the following one.
We shouldn’t worry too much given that he can’t get rid of his money fast enough. Surely it's time for a rebate?
Enjoying higher business rate income for a start. This year, his fiefdom expects to scoop up £15 million from hard-pressed businesses. This will increase by 10 per cent every year, reaching £19.5 million in 2028, according to the West Midlands Combined Authority’s unaudited report and accounts for last year.
Amid the usual drivel and guff, this tedious document does disclose that Mr Parker is not very good at his job, which is supposed to be spending our money.
His capital budget for building things like Midland Metro tram lines was £653 million but he only managed to get rid of £463 million, a £190 million or 29 per cent shortfall.
He also underspent on his revenue budget. It was £556 million but he only managed to spend £532 million
. All of which makes you wonder why he needs to treat businesses as a cash cow. Yet he’s still pleading poverty. The report claims Mayor Parker faces a £33 million shortfall next year and £29 million the following one.
We shouldn’t worry too much given that he can’t get rid of his money fast enough. Surely it's time for a rebate?
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